Are you a good parent?

The million dollar question that all parents ask themselves: Am I a good parent? Giving an answer isn't easy though. After all, who is qualified to say yes or no? The real judge should really be the child but parents can get caught up in  trying to please everyone that they sometimes add a large amount of stress to their already stressful lives.

This morning I took both my sons to their pediatric for a control visit. Routine stuff. You know, the general height , weight etc... check up they have every so often.

As the Doctor examined my eldest I was nervous. Not really sure why but was almost certain she was going to say something wasn't right, which of course would be my fault as I'm the one raising him. Was he eating enough? Was he eating the right things? The mini panic inside me started to die when she had finished and said he was growing just fine. Relief.

The conversation then moved on the vaccinations and my panic levels increased again. He hadn't had one on the list because he had been ill when the appointment came and so I'd cancelled. My bad, I then forgot all about it.

The Doctor made a few comments about how it was important and that I shouldn't forget these kind of things. Bad mother?

It was then the little ones turn. First question, had he had his vaccinations? Answer no because he had been ill too (it was at the same time) and so had cancelled the appointment for him too. When I'd phoned to cancel they'd told me there was no hurry as he was premature and that we had time. Which is what I did. Doctor gave me a look that spoke louder than words and told me he needed to have them done asap. Bad mother?

Next, had he had a heart scan when he was 3 months old? No. Eldest never had to have one and no one mentioned it was something that had to be done.   Apparently he needed to have one. It's routine and important. Unfortunately I'm not a mind reader and so bad mother?

Panic levels now quite high.

Towards the end of the visit the Doctor gave me a long list of various checks that needed to be done for both the boys. As she viewed the youngest birth card (detailing his time in hospital when he was born), the Doctor noticed he had been tested to see if he was celiac. "Why?" she asked. Because I am. Had the eldest been tested? No. He has never had any problems and when I'd asked her about it in the past she said not to worry and check when he's older. I guessed by the look on her face that he WAS older now and so should have been tested. Bad mother?

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy with our pediatric and know she does an excellent job. I did leave wondering if she questioned my parenting skills though.

We went straight to make appointments for the vaccinations and luckily they had a space to do the little ones right away. One thing off the list. Good parent now?

When discussing the vaccinations with the Doctor, he said the eldest no longer fell into the age range for having them and that as the diseases haven't been around for at least 30 years in Italy, there was nothing to worry about. He told us that we could choose to have them done still if we wanted to but that it was our choice. Started to feel more relaxed again and less of a bad mother.

My kids are both completely healthy and happy. I know I'm a good mother. I also know that the pediatric thinks I'm a good mother (even if she does give me certain looks). So why do I worry what other people think? Why do I let it bother me whether they think I'm a good mother or not? 

Do you ever feel judged? Do you worry about what others think?

Image source: Sanofi Pasteur on flickr.com