When you have a new child, sleep is hard to
come by. Most people worry about how to get the baby to sleep, but the truth is
that the baby is going to be just fine with or without sleep. It's you, as the
new parent, that is likely to suffer, because you're used to your general sleep
routine – a routine that you may not get back for a long time.
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But that's okay – it's the nature of having
a child. The key is to figure out how to get enough sleep to function and live
with less stress, since the stress of raising a child is much easier to deal
with when you're fully rested.
What Stands in Your Way
There are generally three things that stand
in the way of getting good rest. The first, of course, is the baby. Babies
don't sleep according to your schedule and are known to wake you up constantly.
The next is stress. Raising a child is stressful, and stress is something that
can keep you awake. The third is the association between sleep and waking up.
Eventually, many first time parents find that they become so used to being
woken up by their baby that they wake up anyway, even when their baby is not
making any noise. All three of these are the issues you need to deal with in
order to get enough sleep and function.
Sleep Grabbing Tips
It's not easy – but there is no magic pill
that is going to suddenly help you sleep perfectly. Instead, consider the
following tips:
- Stop Trying to Sleep Normally – First and foremost, far too many parents try too hard to stick to a normal schedule. Your child does sleep – often, in fact. If you learn to nap and sleep when they do, you'll get at least a fair amount of rest as needed. If you try to stick to your guns and keep a normal schedule, you're going to be disappointed, and potentially lose out on other sleep opportunities.
- Set Up Sleep Areas – When your baby falls asleep, you have an opportunity to sleep too. Don't waste it. Make sure that any area your baby sleeps has an area right by it that is perfectly comfortable and ready for a nap.
- Take Turns – If your partner is around, set up sleep stations and take turns for good naps. Sleep stations should be far out of earshot of the crying baby, although having a cell phone nearby is important in case your partner needs you. You'll still have plenty of time together as a couple, and neither of you are going to be at full strength if you stay awake and up together.
- Break Associations – If you find that you're often waking up without your child doing anything, then you need to break those associations. You can do this by taping your child crying and playing it while you are resting away from your baby, until you get a bit more used to the noise. You can also try to integrate a sleep routine, since these will tire your body and prepare you for bed, and only use the sleep routine when your child is resting well. Breaking associations is difficult, but not impossible, and if you sleep away from your child once in a while an association is less likely to take place.
- Thought Journals – Finally, a great stress relief tool is a thought journal. When stress keeps you awake, using a thought journal allows you to put those stressful thoughts on paper, so that your mind stops focusing on them and allows you to sleep. It's also a place for you to put stories and other things you're thinking about. Anything that keeps you awake goes in the journal, as a way to make sure that nothing is stressing out your mind and preventing you from sleeping.
None of these are perfect strategies, and
ideally you'll need to find your own anxiety help to make sure
that you're not letting the stress of raising a child prevent you from living a
happy life. But at the very least, these should help you get sleep whenever you
can, and reduce the stress you put on yourself to try to get a full night's
rest.
Guest post by Ryan Rivera. Ryan knows how
easily stress can keep you awake. He writes about anxiety help and relief at www.calmclinic.com.
